Loving from a distance: 6 ways to spice up a long distance relationship

“So, what do you think of long distance relationships?” asked a friend during a dinner party. It immediately sparked a debate among people who believe they have a chance of success and people who don’t. “Are long distance relationships worth it” and “Are long distance relationships successful” are the two of the top googled queries about long distance relationships according to google trends. The notion that long distance relationships are doomed for failure is fairly common and often scares people away. But how true is this fear? A 2018 survey found that 60% of long-distance relationships last, which isn’t drastically different as compared to relationships with people living close to each other. The survey also revealed that one of the major challenges faced by people in long distance relationships is the lack of physical intimacy which ranked at 66%, with 31% saying they missed sex the most. It seems that many of the other challenges like loneliness, lack of communication and growing apart can be easily countered using the plethora of digital forms of connection available. But, the lack of physical intimacy seems the hardest to bridge. At Manzuri, we’re passionate about helping people grow in their intimate relationships and a few hundred miles of distance should surely not come in the way of your pleasure. So we’ve put together a few tips and tricks that can spice up your long distance relationship and help you come closer (in more ways than one!) together. 

• Romantic date nights: 

A classic virtual wine and dine can never go wrong. Got a movie you’ve been planning to watch for a long time? Pop it on! The key is to maintain the same level of enthusiasm you would for an in-person date night. You can do this by making it as much of an event as you can. Light a candle, clean your room, dress up and set the mood. You can plan the date in advance and slowly build up the excitement for the night by sharing details and snippets of your arrangements. A snapshot of your outfit, or a screenshot of a special playlist you’re preparing for the night. You can even take things up a notch and send your partner gifts like flowers for the night or the outfit you’d like to see them in.

• Sexting:

Bo Burnham rightly said, “Sexting: It isn’t sex but its the next best thing.” Sexting is indeed  a rite of passage of long distance relationships. Consent and appropriate communication makes all the difference between a charming sext or a lewd one. It’s the easiest and most accessible form of connecting with your partner in an intimate form. Especially if phone or video calls are expensive. If you’re good with words, this is your time to shine. Don’t be afraid of being as descriptive as you can. You can talk about your fantasies to get the conversation started. Many people find low, husky voices and moans sexy!You can make use of the voice message features. Exchanging nudes is now more popular than ever. According to a study 70% of people from the 18-24 age group partake in exchanging sexually suggestive photos, or as we like to call them, nudes. Semi nudes are also a great way to build excitement. 

While sexting, it’s important to be safe and smart. Use an app like Telegram, Signal or Line which are end-to-end encrypted, you can set message expiration times, and anyone in the chat can delete messages for both parties. It’s advised to keep everything super anonymous. If you’re exchanging nudes, don’t include your face or any identifying features in the photo/video like birthmarks, tattoos/piercings. 

• Bring out the toys:

Mutual pleasure in modern, long distance relationships is now more accessible than ever, thanks to sex toys. In the aforementioned survey, 88% of the respondents said that technology like sex toys helped them feel closer to their partner during their long-distance relationship. Sex toys like wireless egg vibrators can help bridge both, the distance and the orgasm gap in heterosexual relationships as women have a greater chance of climaxing with a sex toy that provides clitoral stimulation compared to just penetration. Many wireless vibrators can be connected via bluetooths and apps, allowing your partner to control the settings from far away. 

• Phone sex: 

Do you and your partner prefer auditory stimulation? This one’s for you! You can get on a steamy phone call, engage in mutual masturbation and talk to each other through your climaxes. This is your chance to explore with dirty talk, edging and other bdsm related sexual acts. The thrill of having an effect on someone from far away can be exactly what you need to add a spark to your relationship.

• Video sex: 

Video sex offers the most possibilities for exploring different things in bed. Roleplay is a great example of livening up a regular video sex call. Donning different consumes and exploring fantasies can help unlock new types of sexual experiences and teach you more about yourself and your partner. To take things up a notch you can record your video calls (with your partner’s consent, of course) and voila! you’ve created a sex tape together.

• You’ve got (snail) mail:

 If you want to do things the old fashioned way, you can take a page out of our ancestors’ books and experiment with love letters. To make it real raunchy, add mementos as surprises for your partner along with the letters. Snapshots of your body, a spray of your favorite scent on the letter or a pair of your panties will sure give your partner a more concrete form of a keepsake. 

They say “absence makes the heart grow fonder” and if you’re someone in a long distance relationship, you’ve probably simultaneously both hated and loved this quote. But every relationship can be subject to an unintentional lull in desire and intimacy. With long distance relationships, this emotional and/or sexual aloofness is only compounded due to the physical distance. Long distance relationships, just like all relationships, require work, communication and trust. As long as you’re open and honest about your needs and desires with your partner and curious about trying new things, sexual intimacy in a long distance relationship doesn’t have to be tricky to work through. Remember, many people find displays of putting in effort sexy!